It is important that we all understand how manipulation works. We must opens our eyes to how naive or possibly how evil we are, and quite frankly we need to get a hold of ourselves. So without any further ado, Happy Brain Storming presents to you:
13 NASTY Ways To Manipulate People - How To Avoid Manipulation
If you have ever found your self madly in love with someone that did not deserve it … Crying and sobbing but feeling that you cannot break free … If you have ever found your self doing something that you never really wanted to do … Only to keep doing it more often … Then chances are that you have been manipulated at least once in your life.
This post exposes the very simple tactics that those people use, in order to get you to do things that you would never do only by your self.
There exist different types of manipulations, some more exotic than others, but it is the everyday manipulation that interests us in this article.
This is what one would call old-school, everyday manipulation as opposed to the exotic or modern types that can be found in marketing, propaganda and public relations books of over four hundred pages. These manipulative techniques, as opposed to their larger scale counterparts, are mostly passed from parents to their children and they are learned from everyday social interaction. This is the stuff that can turn seduction into a drama and this is the knowledge that can make you run faster than a hamster dashing on a wheel.
Now, manipulation is not always as bad as it sounds. Most forms of manipulations are benign and with innocent goals taking place between lovers, between parents and between pets and their owners. The manipulating men, and women do not really think of these methods consciously and if they do, they do it very lightly.
However, there are people out there that really enjoy these games because it makes them feel powerful. This can be either a form of psychological perversion or simply greed.
You should be watching for them and know that sooner or later and especially if you haven’t done your study, you will meet one such person during your life. And no matter how brave or intelligent you may be, you WILL go down no matter what your Titanic size may be.
Apart from cats manipulating their owners and mass scale manipulation, this post will be all you will ever need to know in order to defend your self in these situations.
Ways to manipulate someone
Most of the techniques aim at provoking a surge of emotions that bypass your rational brain and make you perform irrational acts. Some basic psychology is needed here and unless you have missed it, here is a simple guide on profiling other people.
Bear in mind that some people are bad actors and you may see their trick coming from a mile away. However, good manipulators know how to play their role well and you will never see the torpedo coming until the ship starts taking water.
1 - Challenging your EGO (Sense of Self Importance).
This technique aims at making you prove that you are important enough or capable of doing some task. Watch out for the following style of phrases because they may signal such an EGO torpedo:
"I hope you are not afraid / I thought you were brave" - and make you do the stunt.
"Only rich and wealthy people hang out there." - and you end up waiting one hour in front of the VIP club bouncer.
"Most people have failed at this. This is the task that proves if you are really the best" - and the hamster runs and runs on its wheel, producing all kinds of reports, data or anything that can keep its boss happy.
2 - Guilt
This technique aims at finding one element contradicting with your moral code, which can then be stated in such a way that will make you feel bad, if you do not conform to their demands.
"How can you do or say something like that ? You brake my heart" - served with the proper acting.
3 - Fear
This technique uses all the negative things that may happen to you if you do not conform to their demand.
"You will lose me / You will get fired / You will stay alone / or something that makes you feel really unhappy - if you do not do the XYZ "
-If they find your breaking points, they will put the knife deep and they will turn it and twist it until you can be heard screaming from a road away. Simple and devastating.
4 - Curiosity
"You only live once, man. Let’s go test this"
Have you ever looked a heroin addict straight in his eyes. Have you noticed how EMPTY those eyes look?
5 - The need to be liked
This technique is very much used in many relationships and can be found a lot in seduction situations. One of the two persons menaces to retreat her appreciation or his love, if person B does not conform to his or her demand. It can also work if he or she is temporarily ignoring you. What this does is that it creates a psychological vacuum that can lead you to hunt and pursue.
"Oh, OK if you do not want to do the X, then forget it. I do not think we are going to see each-other - ever again." - and you keep hunting the girl or the man for ages.
"Well, OK I do not have a lot of time this week" - and they leave you thinking, what if I had done this or if I have done the other. You are already fighting a battle uphill and such a battle can never be won.
6 - Love
Goes together with guilt:
Look someone in the eyes and tell him : “If you love me … if you REALLY love me, you will do this … for me ?”. and your lover makes you do things that you would never do by your self… or you spoil your son and your daughter in a way that seriously provokes problems in their lives.
However, watch-out because sometimes people ARE honest and you should be able to tell good guys from bad guys.
7 - Commitment
If they ask you to promise something or do a symbolic act towards the desired direction, it is quite probable that you will conform to another demand if it is related somehow with your promise.
"But YOU PROMISED!"
8 - Social Proof
You are shown how other people around you have been acting in a related matter to the one that he or she wants you to do.
”But all of my friends do this” - and you do it too.
“No, I will never do this. NONE of my friends has ever done this” - and you don’t.
9 - Scarcity
They give you a take-it-now-or-loose-it-forever option by making sure not to be readily available. This makes you understand that if you do not act NOW you will miss your chance.
"I am booked this week. If you want to go out, it has to be tomorrow."
10 - Reciprocation
They offer you something first, they wait a bit and then they ask you a favor.
11 - Authority
This technique is used mostly in workplaces. Someone that will claim authority, he will claim that his argument has been used by experts. In an everyday communication this can be served by saying that you saw it on TV or you read it on a book - and no Cosmopolitan is NOT a source of authority.
12 - Using Sex as a bait
This applies to seduction situations, where a male can be allured to have sex but sex never arrives. This makes him do a lot of irrelevant actions in order to get there. Including all the things we do NOT want to do.
13 - Emotional roller coaster
For people that live a boring life without many experiences, the simple arrival of a colourful, full of emotions person can make you get into a situation where you feel in love. However, what most people fail to understand is that it is the simple comparison between a dull life to a life full of emotions that provokes the rush and not the new person itself. The only way to avoid this situation is by adding to your life all the necessary experiences. Sports, social activities or activities can provoke the emotions that you were looking for. Usually this happens after long periods of repetitive activities like studying, exam prep or a ‘tidy’, too-ordered life etc.
By alternating times of painfully trying to achieve something (get the girl or the man) and then rapidly him or her offering you an ‘emotional’ cookie, you can be addicted to the chase. This rapid alternation from negative feelings to positive feelings, is also the reason for most addictions. Be aware and avoid these situations so that you understand not to enter into mind games that you cannot come out of easily.
Find the good people in your life
People that manipulate tend to do more than one of the above. Those acts appear in clusters and not one at a time.
Keep close to you only persons that are honest and that have good goals in their lives. They will push you to be your best.